


Naughty

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool (2016)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dirty Talk, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 21:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9625160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is what you wanted to see, right?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NowtButFanfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowtButFanfic/gifts).



So you want me to tell you about me and Vanessa, huh. She's doing fine. I mean, whoever she's doing right now probably isn't as fine as me, but - 

Wait.

That's what you want to know, right? All the stuff that's fun, dirty, or both that we get up to together. I guess the sex montage you got to see didn't cut it. (Get it?) I mean you never really got to see tits, ass, and cock all at the same time. (Though the comics lied to you. If you want to get a good view of tits AND ass, you need it to be her tits & my ass. Or head to the alternate reality where she does yoga. Or hey, alternate reality, maybe people do bend that way. Ask an X-person.)

It's a thought, actually, maybe I should go back through the montage footage and treat it as a one-session bingo card.

Anyway. Right. Back to what you wanted. I mean I think it's what you wanted, all I can tell is I have a captive audience which _always_ gives me a little tingle in my balls. But I'm a little unclear otherwise? Bear with me.

So let's see, typical night, I'm wearing these cute little cat ears and a tail which mostly doesn't get in the way, and next time I try this I might go for claws as well. Do I look ridiculous? Of course I do. But who cares because I'm three fingers, three digits deep in Vanessa and she's stopped cracking up at the ears - 

\- okay, one little giggle, still mixed up in the moans though so I'm going to count it as a win - 

and she's grabbed my tail and is flicking me with it, not a lot of force, kinda soft and silky but somehow getting teased with my _own_ tail is _hot_ , gonna recommend that one - 

\- and I think she's about ready for an orgasm, her face is all screwed up, she's panting, there's this lovely flush spreading down from her neck -

\- and the kitchen timer goes off. "Fuck," Vanessa says. She shoots up and I just manage to avoid cracking my forehead against hers.

"Yeeeaooow," I say, trying for angry tom, but my heart's not in it. I actually do want those muffins. We can finish the sex later.

Without an audience. Because, seriously, I signed up for this. Not sure she did. You got some nerve, whoever you are.

Good taste, though.


End file.
